moonchild

There is something that has been bothering me for a couple years now.
I’m in a mixed family…& by mixed I mean I don’t have the same father as my brothers.
I was born a mistake.
No one needs to tell me “you’re not a mistake” because I am every definition of the word. My parents were very young and they BOTH used protection…so how can I blame them if they were taking the right steps to prevent me? 

My real dad hasn’t spoken to me in 13 years…and even when we did speak it was forced.

My mom & I are going through a rough patch because I’m starting to decipher my feelings as a child & with good reason, I’m hurt by her.
My mother constantly pawned me off on other people in my family.
My Nana raised me, my aunt raised me, my uncle raised me, my great grandparents raised me, everyone but her…
I have almost zero memories of her from my childhood.
That hurts…that hurts so so much because I can’t even imagine giving my dog to someone else to train…let alone letting another person raise my child.
I know she was young…I know people make mistakes, but that was a mistake made on my heart & with all the times she pawned me off the family I feel like she never even wanted me.
I can’t just let that go.
 001,Female.
Part one
Advertisements

One thought on “moonchild

  1. Pingback: moonchild, pt 2. | xomidwestmess

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s