What scares you the most about death? Continue reading
Where I am from. Things are very black and white. So are people.
It’s no secret that I have a pretty shitty relationship with my mother. I know there are other moms out there that are worse…I’m not looking for pity…I’m looking for a release. Continue reading
Insecurity and depression
I am 21 and I am not a smaller person and I haven’t always been this way.
When I was younger I was small, skinny, skin and bones, etc.
I don’t really remember when I started getting bigger but I suppose it was over the course of 2nd and 3rd grade.
It never really bothered me until middle school when I could kind of realized that people were whispering behind my back and giggling at me. I didn’t really think anything of it then because I liked school and I had a group of friends that liked me for who I was.
My mom’s birthday is a constant reminder that I nearly ruined it for her years to come. Continue reading
I’ve always seemed to be a victim of circumstance.
While I was still recovering from my Mom’s death, I started getting sick.
Last year, while I was in the hospital for my 6th ear surgery, I contacted MRSA.
It was just so random, we never would have expected that. I basically had the infection in me for 3 months before we had to operate on the area. I had to have a picc line in me all summer and give myself my antibiotics twice daily. I was so mad and depressed that the ear surgery didn’t work and I contacted that.
Then, I finally woke up and realized how lucky I was.
The infection was so close to spreading to the bone, it was hard to believe it didn’t spread. It probably should have considering how long I had it but it didn’t.
I realized that someone was looking out for me after all.
Ever since then, I’ve been more at peace with everything.
I had my 8th ear surgery last December (3 in one year) and it was a success. I’m definitely still struggling with my health problems but I’ve been keeping positive.
I just know that I have a lot of people rooting for me “up there.”
Every day is amazing.